Jared paced the small office and fought with himself not to throw up.
This was, hands down the worst feeling in the world. The past two months had flown by. Due to his and Jensen’s new relationship, Jared had suggested switching clinical groups, doing his cardiac clinical rotation with the pediatric nurse instead. Jensen had been irritated at first, only because he wanted Jared to get everything he could out of his clinical, and was worried that the professor he was with wasn’t going to be able to teach him as much.
“Then you’re just going to have to look over my notes from clinical and tell me all the tricks you would’ve told me had I stayed in your group! Or, you know, make sure your lecture is up to par.”
Jensen had glared at him and then tickled his feet -- why he had ever decided to tell him that he was ticklish there was beyond him -- until he took it back and told Jensen he was the best cardiac professor to ever walk the earth.
The psych rotation with Misha was interesting, though Jared learned more than he ever would’ve expected from their six weeks at the state hospital.
The clinicals themselves were the easy part. Jared loved working with and talking to his patients, loved exploring the charts and watching the nurses on the floor interact with providers and other departments. He was able to watch a cardiac cath, watch an initial psychological intake exam, and was able to gown up and observe an open heart surgery.
It was this part that sucked.
The door to the office opened and Jared spun around. Jensen gave him a slightly surprised look and then walked over to him, kissing him gently before dropping his briefcase down by his desk and sitting in his office chair.
“Why the heck are you here so early?” Jensen asked as he reached down to turn on the computer.
“Because I couldn’t do it,” Jared groaned, reaching down for one of the visitor chairs and dragging it around the desk to sit next to Jensen. He scooted in close, their thighs touching, as he thrust his phone into his boyfriend’s hands. “Why did you take forever to get here?”
“Jay, it’s not even seven in the morning,” Jensen laughed and tapped the home button to wake up the phone. “Why didn’t you tell me last night? I would’ve looked for you before you went out with Chad…”
“Because I didn’t want to know.” Jared sighed and glanced down, watching Jensen type in his password and find the BlackBoard app. “Wait! I still don’t want to know, give it back!”
Jared knew Jensen rolled his eyes, but he released his hold on the phone and let Jared take it back. Lifting his hips, he shoved it back into his pocket. Jared groaned and leaned to the side, crossing his arms on the desk beside Jensen’s keyboard and plopping his head down on top of them.
“I already know I failed,” he mumbled into his elbow and felt Jensen’s shake of laughter beside him. “I can’t believe you’re laughing at me. I would be mad at you if I weren’t so distraught.”
“You didn’t fail, Jared. Molly said you were amazing in clinical, and so did Misha. And you knew every set of flashcards we did together for every test. I don’t know why you think-”
“Just because I passed clinical doesn’t mean I passed all of my tests, Jensen! I needed an eighty-four on the final exam. An eighty-four! That’s like… never going to happen. I probably got seventy-four and I failed and I’m going to be kicked out and then I’ll be your loser boyfriend who will never make it as a nurse and-”
Jared’s head snapped up and he looked at the back of Jensen’s head, his boyfriend focused on scrolling through the screen on his computer.
“Eighty-nine. You got an eighty-nine on your final.” Jensen clicked a few times and then turned in his chair, beaming back at Jared. “ou did it, Jay!”
“You can’t tell me my grades like that!” Jared answered and Jensen rolled his eyes.
“Are you going to be happy about this or mad that I stopped your unnecessary pouting?”
Jared glared at him as Jensen leaned forward and kissed him.
“I’m proud of you.”
“I am going to be mad at you for ruining it for at least five minutes,” Jared answered against his lips, kissing him harder.
“Okay, tell me when you’re not mad so that we can celebrate,” Jensen laughed and pushed back, adjusting his chair so he could press closer, his knee resting between Jared’s.
“We aren’t having sex in your office, Jensen.” Jared rolled his eyes but leaned in, letting Jensen kiss him again.
“What about on the airplane?” Jensen asked as he moved down, kissing the side of Jared’s neck.
“No, I am not having sex in an airplane,” Jared laughed and pushed his shoulders gently. “I’m trying to be mad at you, stop making me laugh.”
“Oh, my apologies, I completely forgot.” Jensen smirked and then looked back at the computer for a moment. “What about in your childhood bedroom? Can we have sex there?”
“Is that all you think about?” Jared reached forward, wrapping his arms around Jensen’s side and leaning his head on his shoulder. Jensen didn’t answer, but Jared knew he was smiling. He rested there while Jensen sent out his final emails, getting everything set for Winter Break. He couldn’t bite back his smile so he buried his grin against the back of Jensen’s arm.
“I did it,” he said after a moment and felt Jensen nod. Jensen reached over his arm, running his fingers through Jared’s hair.
“I actually passed. I only have three semesters left, Jensen!”
“I know, baby.” Jensen turned slowly and pulled Jared into a hug. “You’re more than halfway there!”
Jared nodded and squeezed him back. No matter how many times he found himself in Jensen’s arms like this, part of him still couldn’t believe this was real. He had never felt this way before, had never felt like someone else ever understood him so completely and loved him so purely. It was almost effortless; being with Jensen made him feel like he was home.
“Thank you,” he said softly and felt Jensen pull back a little so he could look down at him.
“For what?” Jensen asked, and Jared just shook his head, leaning up to kiss him.
Jensen chuckled and kissed him back before logging out of the computer and picking up a pile of papers at the edge of his desk. “I just have to drop these off at Jean’s office and then we can pick up your bags. We don’t have to pick up Megan to leave for the airport for another four hours, so we can hang out with Chad if you want?”
Jared nodded, putting the chair he’d moved back into place and stepped into the hallway to let Jensen lock up the office behind them. He found Jensen’s hand easily and together they walked down the hall to the Nursing Director’s office so Jensen could find Jean’s mailbox.
As they stepped outside, Jared blinked at the sudden white around them and lifted his head to watch the snow drifting down around them. He squeezed Jensen’s hand, rolling his eyes as he realized his boyfriend hadn’t grabbed his gloves when he left his house that morning. He pulled Jensen closer to his side and started to walk towards the staff parking lot.
Jensen unlocked the car and shoved his briefcase in the back, pulling out the snow brush to get the thin layer of dust off the top of the car. Jared wondered if they were going to end up having a delay because of the snow; at least they would be in Manchester instead of down in Boston.
They both got into the car once Jensen put the brush in the back seat. Jensen started the engine, turning on the defrosters, and Jared reached over for his hands to rub them between his own, warming up his fingers. Jensen smiled at him, turning to give Jared better access.
“I love you, so much,” Jensen said after a moment and Jared paused, glancing up from his pink hands to see Jensen watching him.
“We’re not having sex in the car, either,” Jared answered and raised an eyebrow.
“Damnit!” Jensen laughed, pulling his hands back to put the car in reverse. “Can’t blame a guy for trying.”
Jared rolled his eyes and grabbed onto Jensen’s right hand, locking their fingers together. He rested their hands on the top of Jensen’s thigh and let out a content breath.
It wasn’t perfect; they were still getting to know each other in real life, the quirks and kinks that an online-only relationship would never have had. Jensen never brought his dirty dishes to the sink, Jared never capped the toothpaste. There had been a few comments and remarks about their relationship that Jensen was able to take in stride but which Jared struggled with for much longer. They’d had one fight (Jared can’t even remember what it was about now, other than he was stressed from his finals and overreacted --not that he would tell Jensen that). But he wouldn’t change a thing.
Their ‘wireless connection’ had transformed into something Jared’s imagination never could’ve pictured. Jensen was warm and kind and so muchmore than anything Jared could have dreamed up. Sitting here beside him, his fingers warm where they pressed against Jensen’s, his boyfriend humming ‘Simple Man’ under his breath despite the radio being turned off, meant so much for something so...uncomplicated. So easy, so good.. They weren’t perfect, but this feeling that Jared got every time he looked at Jensen?
“I love you, too.” Jared broke the silence and Jensen paused his humming, glancing over with a huge smile. He squeezed Jared’s fingers, lifting them up once to kiss his knuckles.
Jared turned to the window and watched the snow falling down and was grateful for the warmth inside the vehicle.
It was quiet in the car except for the humming beside him and the soft rumble of the engine, but it was that good type of silence. Jared felt content and comfortable. He was happy, and as Jensen ran his thumb over the edge of his hand, Jared was surrounded with the feeling of home.
They had only started on their journey - so much more than their literal trip to Jared’s parents’ house for the holidays - and Jared just smiled into the perfect silence.
Master || One || Two || Three || Four || Epilogue