Underneath the Oak Tree -- Chapter Three

[lotrspnfangirl]

August 15th, 1952
Somerset, Vermont

Jensen sighed as he made his way up the hill to the oak tree – a place that since the summer before had been designated as their spot. The adults never came up this far, didn’t want to make the trek through the woods, and it gave the perfect reprieve from the daily grind of the farm life.

Jensen smiled as he looked down the narrow winding path that now made its way through the woods. It had been Josh’s idea to clear a path to the field, and any free time they managed to find, all four boys could be found dragging away downed branches, moving large rocks that had been in their way or even cutting down young saplings to clear the pathway.

This summer was the boys most physically challenging one yet on the farm, and then after spending all of their free time doing even more manual labor here on their path, Jensen was more than grateful when Josh had finally decided the path was finished. Now, Jensen had been tasked with fetching them something to eat for dinner and the rest of the boys were waiting at the oak tree.

Jensen couldn’t help but smile as he picked his way along the path. As hard as Josh had made them all work on the little footpath, Jensen was so glad his sibling was here with him once more. Now just like Jared had Jeff, he had his own older brother’s companionship. At the start of the summer, Josh had almost decided not to come with him and had wanted to stay back to work at the pharmacy. Surprisingly, it had been their father who had convinced Josh to get on the train with Jensen at the end of May.





“Your Grandfather is going to need all hands on deck this year, which includes yours...” Alan looked across the dinner table, pinning Josh with a hard stare.

“But, Dad… Mr. Collins offered me a full time position over the summer-"

“Family comes first, Joshua, always.” Alan’s voice was hard and Josh closed his mouth immediately, staring down at his plate. “Now, as I was saying, your Grandfather is planning on adding a building to the property, some new house or something for that farm hand o’ his…”

“The Padaleckis?” Jensen asked excitedly, and he sat up even straighter on his chair.

“What have I said about interrupting, boy?” Alan turned his glare to his youngest son and Jensen nodded quickly, apology ready on his lips, but his eyes couldn’t hide the excitement he still felt. “Yes, I suppose that’s them. Decided to take the family on full-time with all the good business the farm’s been doing the past couple of years. I’ve been told they’re getting a whole new herd of cows coming for the next season. Your grandmother’s gonna be worn to a frazzle trying to keep up with all the dairy coming through, if she tries to do it alone.”

“Yes, sir.” Jensen nodded his head in agreement. “Grandma said she would be teaching me how to make ice cream this summer.”

“What the hell would you need to know how to make ice cream for?” Alan shot him a disgusted look and then looked towards Donna. “What the hell has she been teaching my son?”

“Oh, Alan. You can’t tell me your mother never taught you any of that stuff growing up,” Donna gave Jensen’s arm a quick pat but Jensen had returned his gaze back down at his plate. He could feel his cheeks burning, suddenly ashamed at how excited he had been at the prospect of making ice cream. He was suddenly glad he’d never told his father she had taught him how to make homemade cheese last year…

Beside him Mackenzie leaned over. “It’s okay Jen, I love ice creams!” Jensen smiled back at her and gave her a nod.

“She didn’t teach me how to be a ‘woman’, that’s for sure,” Alan muttered and returned back to his plate of food. “Joshua, has Mr. Collins talked anymore about pharmacology school?” And just like that, the farm conversation was over, and Jensen couldn’t have been more relieved.





Josh had sulked nearly the entire train ride, barely speaking two words to Jensen and keeping his nose buried in the medical book Mr. Collins had loaned him for the summer. Thankfully, the moment they set foot on Boston turf and Josh got a welcoming hug from kindly Gerry, his icy attitude melted away and he was back to being Josh instead of some twisted, younger version of Alan Ackles. As the days passed 16 year-old Josh had gone back to being the happy older brother he had once been.

“Took you long enough, Jensen!” Josh hollered from his place up among the oak tree branches. Being the tallest, he had managed to scramble up higher than either Jensen or Jeff had ever gone and he was sitting on a branch, swinging his feet and smiling down at him with a self-satisfied smirk. “I thought I was going to starve to death out here.”

“The way you eat? I doubt it!” Jensen snapped with a chuckle as he set down the basket. Dropping to his knees he quickly helped Jared spread out the contents on the grass. Both Jeff and Josh made their way down from the tree and together the four of them ate the pork sandwiches, pickles and apple pie that Martha had packed for them. The brotherly pairs took turns sipping the cool lemonade that had been sealed up in two canning jars.

They ate their fill and laid back in the grass, side by side as the sun sank down in the sky. When the fireflies appeared and started their light show, Jensen couldn’t help but smile as he let his eyes fall closed. He couldn’t think of a single time in Texas that he had ever felt more at peace than he did right then, never felt more at home.

“So do you think you guys will be here next summer?” It was Jeff that broke the silence. Jensen opened his eyes to look across Jared’s body, seeing the older boy had sat up and was hugging his knees to his chest while staring thoughtfully at the Ackles boys.

“I don’t know, man…” Josh answered with a shrug. “I honestly don’t know where I’ll be next summer… I’ve been saving up everything I’ve gotten from Mr. Collins to pay for Pharmacology School and if I get in…”

“No, I understand… I’ll keep you in my prayers, even though you’re not going to need it. You’re a total shoe in. Practically a college boy already the way you ooze textbook crap.” Teasingly Jeff nudged the older boy fairly hard with his elbow and laughed when Josh’s arms flailed out to keep him from falling over.

“What about you, Jen?” Jared asked and Jensen’s gaze tore away from his older brother to catch Jared’s concerned eyes. “Are you going to come next summer?”

“I sure hope so,” Jensen smiled back at him. “That’s if my Grandma even needs any of my help now that you’re living here full time.”

“Please,” Jared rolled his eyes and laid his head back down on the grass. “I think your grandmother would have two of you if she could.”

Jensen laughed and looked back up towards the sky. “No, Jay, I think she likes having all of us.”

April 18th, 1953
Austin, Texas

Jensen couldn’t believe it.

Josh had used the leftover money he had saved from the pharmacy to take Jensen out for his thirteenth birthday (“better late than never” Josh had said when he told him to get ready) and they were finishing up their milkshakes and burgers.

“What do you think of a movie, little brother?” Josh raised an eyebrow, beaming at him from across the booth.

“What movie?” Jensen asked as he finished off his strawberry shake and slid the empty glass back onto the table. “I don’t think we’ve gone to a movie since we went to that one with Gram and Grandpa…”

“I know, so what do you say? Want to go and see House of Wax?” Jensen could feel his eyes widen as he leaned across the table.

“Josh!” Jensen whispered, excitement making his stomach do joyful cartwheels. “Do they… is it… is it playing here?”

Josh just smiled and reached into his jean pockets to pull out two tickets. “Happy Birthday, Jensen.”

“You’re seriously the best brother ever.” Jensen breathed out and reached across the table for the tickets. It had House of Wax printed across the bottom and then his stomach flipped again when he read Color 3D.

This was the first color film to hit the theaters in… Well, ever. Jensen wasn’t sure if there had been other color films that just weren’t as popular, but this?! This was all the radio announcers had been talking about in the week since it had premiered. And here he was, sitting in the local diner, with tickets to go and see it.

“What are we waiting for?” He reached for his jacket and was pulling it on already heading for the door, leaving Josh laughing behind him while he searched for some quarters to leave as a tip.

And now, Jensen was sitting in a packed movie theater, too excited to even think about eating even a bite of Josh’s popcorn, with real color pictures on the screen before him.

It was like… magic. Everything looked so real, like Jensen himself was actually running away from the crazy sculptor. Every scream seemed louder, every silent stretch seemed to resonate inside of his chest, and Jensen could hear his own heartbeat. He imagined this is probably how Jared felt with the fireworks…

He smiled as he thought of what Jared would think if he could’ve been with him now, watching with wide eyes and his mouth hanging open. Jensen couldn’t wait to tell Jared every second of the film when he saw him in next month.

May 16th, 1954
Austin, Texas

“Jensen, sit down.” Jensen stopped short, turning his attention to the kitchen table where Alan was sitting, hands wrapped around a mug of coffee.

“Sir?” Jensen set down his suitcase and let the travel bag he had slip from his shoulder to the floor.

“I’ve lined you up to start working tomorrow at Crowley’s. You’ll be bussing the tables and keeping the bar top clean.”

“But… But, Sir, I’m supposed to be leaving for Vermont this afternoon,” Jensen could feel himself shaking and he was glad his voice held steady. Alan looked up from his coffee, an eyebrow raised.

“You’re fourteen now, Jensen. Your brother Josh got a job at thirteen and I expect the same from you. It’s time you start learning how a man makes and manages his money. Your Grandfather has plenty of help at that farm and from now on you should be working a real job here during your summers, not playing with sheep and cows.”

Jensen knew better than to argue, knew he should just say ‘Yes Sir’ and return his bags to his room. But he couldn’t keep from saying “Are you saying that farm work isn’t a real job then, father?”

“Excuse me?!” Alan choked on a mouthful of coffee. He released his grip on the mug and directed a hateful glare towards the boy, pushing back against the chair, trying to make himself look bigger and even more imposing from his sitting position. “I don’t think I heard you correctly.”

“I think you did, Sir. Grandpa has always made his living doing farm work, lives his life just fine and comfortable. I think I should be able to make my own decisions on where and when I want to work.” Jensen had barely finished his sentence before Alan was out of his chair and Jensen’s back was against the wall.

“You live under my roof, Jensen Ross and you will do as I say, when I say it. My father may be making a living for himself just fine, but you, Son, aren’t making anything at all by running around that farm all day and swimming in the creek. Don’t you dare act like I don’t know what goes on up there... I lived it. And when I was thirteen years old? I went out and got myself a paying job working at the local grocery store and that was even with getting up at four in the morning to take care of those damned cows before my work shift.

“If this is the attitude you think you’re allowed to use in my house, boy, you’ve got another thing coming. Crowley’s will be expecting you tomorrow at three pm and you will be there if I have to drag you there myself...” Jensen swallowed hard. Alan’s angry red face was glaring in his peripheral vision from a position only inches away from Jensen’s own. “Now, I think what you were going to say was, ‘Yes Sir’, let me take my bags back upstairs and thank you for this opportunity.”

Jensen nodded once before ducking under the arm Alan had pressed against the wall beside his head and grabbed his bag from the floor. He threw one last reproachful glare over his shoulder to see that Alan had already returned to his spot at the kitchen table and was back to sipping his coffee.

“Jensen?” Mackenzie leaned over the banister of the stairs, confusion clouding her bright green eyes and Jensen shook his head at her.

“I’m fine, Kenz. Just… need to be alone.” Mackenzie nodded slowly and watched as Jensen returned to his room and slowly shut the door behind him.

July 5th, 1955
Austin, Texas

Jensen’s heart was pounding a million miles an hour. He could feel the sweat on his forehead, could feel it dripping down his back. He was a mixture of shocked and… and there’s this heat swirling and pooling in the pit of his stomach.

Jensen had long since gotten over the fact that his father had refused for the second year in a row to let him go to his Grandfather’s farm and had made a point to be out of the house, only returning for the required meals and the bed to lay his head on, every day he could. Even Mackenzie had made a point of joining him on hikes or trips to the river bank. Today, the barkeep Robert had let him off early, claiming he had family business to attend to and Crowley’s would be closed for the day. Jensen should have gone home – should have checked if his mother or Mackenzie had needed anything. But when his co-worker and best friend Tom suggested they go straight from the bar to the river? Jensen hadn’t even thought twice.

He was now, though.

“Jensen?” He swallowed hard, eyes meeting the deep blue ones of his best friend. They had stopped at Tom’s house on the way to the river, stripping out of their work clothes and aprons to don a couple pair of Tom’s swimming trunks. Now, Tom was pushing out of the river, confusion on his face as he studied Jensen’s expression, water rolling down his tanned, muscled chest and God, when did Jensen notice that?

“Ye-yeah?” He was stumbling over the word, afraid Tom could hear the pounding of his heart, afraid he would be able to see into Jensen’s mind and figure out that Jensen’s thoughts right now were dirty and wrong. So very wrong.

“You look… I don’t know, like you’ve seen a ghost or something.” Tom laughed and stepped forward, patting Jensen’s shoulder and Jensen shivered under his touch. Tom’s hand was large and warm and for a moment, Jensen wondered what it would be like to have it trailing over other parts of his body… “Jense! Look! Rosemary and Catherine just got here.”

Jensen followed Tom’s gaze and saw the two girls walking this way, towels slung over their shoulders and long hair piled up on the tops of their heads. He knew Tom was watching the way their hips moved, the way they swayed and twisted with each step. At sixteen, their breasts were full and moved whenever they breathed or walked. Catherine even had a bathing suit on with no cover-up– something his parents would never let Mackenzie out of the house wearing no matter what age she was.

Jensen smiled, stared at them, and tried to look as interested as Tom did. When they joined them, Jensen was glad for the distraction. He laughed when Rosemary shook off her outer clothes and took his arm to pull him back into the water. Her hair and suit were now plastered against her face and body, her brown eyes sparkling in the sunlight. They swam lazily in the cool water and Jensen forced himself to count every freckle across Rosemary’s cheeks, count the amount of times she and Catherine leaned together and giggled, counted everything and anything he could think to count… anything to keep him from looking at Tom and his body again.

Jensen attached himself to Rosemary’s side, forced himself to touch her arm and hold her hand, to carry her towel as they walked back to town three hours later. When she pressed thick, pink lips against his own, he even tried to pretend that he wasn’t wishing and hoping they were Tom’s instead.

Later when he returned home, “Was that Rosemary I saw you walking with when you passed the house before, Jensen?” Donna greeted excitement in her voice as she took Jensen’s wet towel to hang out back.

Jensen nodded quickly, meeting his mother’s eyes for only a brief moment before looking away, shame coloring his face. He wished they had taken a different path to walk the girls back home.

Donna didn’t notice his silence, or else she misinterpreted the look as shy embarrassment, and she pulled Jensen against her chest, still smiling. “I think she’s a very nice girl. You should have her over for dinner sometime… let us get to know her.”

“Okay, Mama,” Jensen whispered, stomach turning over again. “I’m not feeling too well… I think I got too much sun today. I’m going to lay down until supper.”

“Oh, okay, baby.” Donna ran a hand through his hair, disappointment clear on her face. Jensen knew she had been excited he was home before supper... Jensen gave her another smile that he hoped looked sincere and fled up the stairs to the safety of his room.

Since Josh had left for the University of Texas, Jensen had been granted the privilege of his own room, something he was more than grateful for, especially now. He slipped off Tom’s still damp suit, his stomach clenching at the thought that the clothing he wore belonged to Tom, and slipped between the sheets on his bed. Jensen stared at the ceiling, tears swimming in his eyes as he let himself think back to Tom. Tall, wet and beautiful Tom.

His body reacted and Jensen felt sick. If Tom’s father, Pastor Welling, ever knew the thoughts Jensen had swirling around in his mind about his oldest son… He was wrong, he was sick; he shouldn’t be thinking of his best friend this way, shouldn’t be thinking of another male this way. He should be thinking about pretty little Rosemary and the way she was pressed up against his side. Thinking of another boy was wrong, disgusting and Pastor Welling would tell him he was going to hell.

Jensen squeezed his eyes shut, trying to force out the images that were flooding his mind. The new ones of Tom from earlier in the day were taking root beside the already sick images that had implanted themselves. If Jensen were to be honest with himself, Tom wasn’t the first one. But dirty thoughts trapped deep in his subconscious, only emerging to play out in his dreams, were very different from picturing and wishing and hoping about a real man. At least in his dreams he could wake up and push those thoughts away, pretend they never happened. In real life, he was damning someone along with himself.

Homosexuals were evil. He had heard his father speak about it; how the sexual perversions of homosexuals were grounds for termination, in every sense of the word. Alan was never shy about the way he felt, didn’t hold back on his disgust and horror when a faggot had the nerve to speak up and voice his opinions over his treatment. The audacity of someone as disgusting as that actually believing he had rights when he was damned in the first place made Alan uncontrollably angry.

He bit back a sob as he imagined what his father would think of him if he knew. He would probably take Jensen out back and take care of the problem himself, promise to purge his body and pray for forgiveness for his soul. His mother would want to cure him, to send him away and would blame herself for doing him so wrong.

No, Jensen could never admit it. Not to anyone. He was wrong … he was broken… and he was going to hell for the dirty thoughts racing around in his mind, but he would never bring his family down with him. Jensen knew it was wrong and somehow he would fix it. Tomorrow he would find Rosemary Collins and ask her out right then and there. He would bring her around to the house, show her off on his arm and his parents would be happy and proud of him, his father would tell him to do right by her, and Jensen would be determined to do so.

Because Jensen was determined to be normal… to be good and to do right before the eyes of his family and God.

Master Post || Chapter Two || Chapter Four