Apr. 6th, 2017 08:20 pm
lotrspnfangirl: (life: selfie icon)
Coming back and seeing all of the 'changes' LJ has made...

With the semester coming to an end, I know that I'll be more active and so I want to ask --

What is everyone doing? I've seen a few posts of people mentioning going to DW, some people haven't said anything (that I've seen) and I'm still not exactly clear on what will be changing, if anything.

Anyone want to shed some light? I want to stay with my fandom lovlies! ♥
lotrspnfangirl: (life: selfie icon)
Is pretty much kicking my ass. As well as screwing up with my schedule and I've been struggling to remember to take my anxiety meds which, shocker, means I've been struggling really bad with anxiety lately. I honestly don't believe there are many things worse than anxiety...

It's been effecting my school work, my daily life, and my relationships. It's been completely awful and Wednesday can not come fast enough. I am meeting with a therapist that I met with back five years ago when I was first diagnosed with my anxiety disorder, and I'm glad that she was able to take me back as a patient. I felt she was very easy to talk to, she was quick and figuring out how to help me, and I am crossing my fingers that she can help me get my anxiety under control sooner rather than later.

Every day I am struggling with feelings of self-depreciation and feeling unimportant. I am having an issue with someone who I consider to be my best friend and I am scared to get my anxiety under control for only one reason: part of me isn't sure if my anxiety is the reason we're having issues. Part of me is wondering if she's using my anxiety as an excuse. Time will tell on that front, I suppose, and I guess in reality it's better to know who your real friends are... but she was there for me more than anyone else through my divorce and it will be a huge loss if our relationship has truly changed.

Also, after my appointment, I booked myself a massage and facial and I am so ready for that. Like, so ready.
lotrspnfangirl: (life: selfie icon)
Title: Pinned
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Wincest
Word Count: ~2500
Summary: They had been sparring since they were children, this actual position nothing new except it was always Dean pinning Sam down and critiquing where he went wrong. Being reversed wasn't why Dean was frozen under his brother’s weight on the thin blue mat. That had everything to do with the heavy weight of Sam’s dick where it lay against Dean’s lower stomach, hotter than any other part of his body.
A/N: Written for [ profile] smpc. Beta'd by Mari (WinchestersRaven)

lotrspnfangirl: (life: selfie icon)

Title: Wireless Connection
Artist: [ profile] dancing_adrift
Author: [ profile] lotrspnfangirl
Pairing: J2
Rating: Teen
Warnings/Spoilers: None
Summary: Jared finds stress relief in Twitter as a second-year nursing student. Over summer break, he becomes friends with Jackles @profjackles, aka Jensen. He doesn't even know what Jensen looks like, but he can’t help from falling for the man he met online anyway. Their relationship changes unexpectedly when Jensen accepts a new job at Jared's university. Nursing school is not nearly as hard as discovering that the guy you've fallen for is actually your professor.

Art: Live Journal

This is my second big bang, and my first time participating in [ profile] j2_reversebang. After a devastating loss of my first draft, I am so excited to post this story which has been a blast for me to write.

I was busy working away at my DCBB at the time I got the email reminding me that I had signed up as an author for the J2RBB. I was nervous-- the idea of taking on a second big bang was slightly overwhelming-- and as I looked at some of the amazing art that was up for grabs this round, it did nothing to quell that nervousness. Then I came across Amanda's prompt and I just could not pass it up. The art was gorgeous, the prompt had me immediately thinking of plot lines, and I wrote up her fic as my first and only choice.

Speaking of Amanda... She was amazing to work with. Not only did she make some awesome art, but she beta'd and squeed in all the right places, and held my hand or pushed me when I needed it the most. I lost my entire first draft which, those who have followed my 2016 know that seriously, just my luck this year and she was understanding and helpful. We worked on this up until the last minute and I am so glad we got paired together. Funnily enough, we communicated mostly through Twitter, which I kind of found perfect. This really wouldn't have been possible if it weren't for her.

Also, huge thank you to Cas ([ profile] angelnovak) for letting me bombard her with screen shots of my writing and morale boosting when I needed it and got stressed with my own nursing school problems (#nursingstudent #nursinglife). ♥

Chapter One || Chapter Two || Chapter Three || Chapter Four || Epilogue || Archive of our Own
lotrspnfangirl: (life: selfie icon)

*blows out breath*

Holy crap. When Cas and I started on this journey, it was a way for me to escape the hardships that were happening for me in real life. I never anticipated it to turn into this. I can barely remember where this idea came from, probably a late night rambling of, “oh my god, Destiel mobsters would be so hot.” and somehow that came to fruition.

There are so many people to thank… First, [ profile] theatregirl7299 for holding our hand at the beginning and telling us our idea was worth something, despite the pairing not being her cup of tea. And then [ profile] pippin1983 for literally walking through this journey at our side, crying when we cried, getting angry when we made hard choices, and falling in love with our characters right along with us. HUGE thank you to Thunderpuffin429 for her beta work and help in getting our fic into tip-top shape.

Then we were paired with [ profile] zephyrchrysalis who blessed us with beautiful art. She took this fic under her wing and opened her heart to help us, more than I ever expected. She not only gave us art to make this fic stand out, she combed through our story as if it were her own and helped us to make it shine. Seriously, this fic wouldn’t be as amazing as it is--or as amazing as I think it is, and hope you do too!-- if it weren’t for her. Go check out her master post and leave her some love, she deserves it!!!

Thank you also to purpleskys for making sure that we didn’t mess things up too badly after our edits and fluffing post-beta’ing.

Lastly, I want to thank [ profile] angelnovak for partaking in this journey with me. Writing with you was probably the best therapy I could’ve had while my life was falling apart around me. I even loved when we got stressed and snappy with each other and then looked up videos on the most messed up things (seriously, no one can look at my search history) to break the ice. This is our first big bang, and we completed it together. I am so proud of us. I honestly do not believe I could’ve done this, or gotten as far as I have in real life, without your support and friendship. I love you and thank you for doing this with me ♥

This is a dark fic, but it’s also heartwarming and above all, a story about acceptance and love. We really hope you enjoy this as much as we enjoyed writing it.

Dani & Cas

Title: Poisk Istiny [Finding Truth]
Author: [ profile] lotrspnfangirl & [ profile] angelnovak
Artist: [ profile] zephyrchrysalis
Fandom/Genre: ABO Mafia AU
Pairing(s): Dean/Castiel, Gabriel/Kali, Sam/Jess
Rating: NC-17
Word Count:
Warnings: angst, ABO dynamics (omega!Cas, alpha!Dean), violence, character death (not main).

Summary: A rival family is stealing the Patriarca Family’s Boston shipments and collecting a neat payday five hours away on the streets of Brooklyn and Manhattan. But their Don, Dean Winchester, is wary about reaching out to a long-time New York ally. The Russian Bratvas just do things differently. The young Pakhan, Castiel Krushnic, is hard-nosed and very violent and while violence is mainstay in any underworld family, this boss has a special flair for it. It leaves an uncomfortable taste in Don Winchester’s mouth.

But encouraged by his Consigliere, Bobby Singer, he finally relents. The Pakhan is quite different from what The Don was expecting. Dean learns the man’s secret quite by accident and decides to keep it to himself. They have bigger fish to fry as they discover traitors in both of their organizations while their enemy ups the stakes for each of them. And after members of each family are kidnapped, the stakes get even higher.

Betrayed from within leads to exposing long held secrets and when long denied desires are unleashed it puts each of them on a path that will change their lives forever.

|| Russian Glossary ||
|| Prologue || Ch1-A || Ch1-B || Ch2-A || Ch2-B || Ch3-A || Ch3-B || Ch4-A || Ch4-B || Ch5-A || Ch5-B || Ch6-A || Ch6-B || Ch7-A || Ch7-B || Ch8-A || Ch8-B || Ch9-A || Ch9-B || Epilogue ||
|| Art Masterlist || AO3
lotrspnfangirl: (life: selfie icon)
Ad - Hell
Akh, slava Bogu! Ya bespokoilas' o tebe! mladshiy brat - Oh thank God! I was worried sick about you little brother.
Blya Bellomo, on pokoynik! - Fucking Bellomo, he's a dead man!
Blyad - Damn
Blyad - Fuck
Brat(s) - Brother(s)
Budet vyglyadet' kak detskaya igra. - will look like childs play.
Chernaya Komnata - Black Room
Chertova mat' grebanyy sukin syn etoy ukusy - Goddamn mother fuckin son of a bitch that stings
Chto takoye Don zdes' delayet - What is the Don doing here?
Da da uzel menya - Yes, yes knot me make me yours.
Da, spasibo - Yes, thank you
Dobroy Nochi - Good Night
Durachit’ - Fool
Gde yebat' ty byl - Where the fuck have you been?
Gospozha - Mistress
Gryaznyy izmennik - Dirty traitor
Im tak zhal’ brat - I’m so sorry, brother
Izhets - Liar
izmennik - traitor
Izvinite - Excuse me
Kogda ya zakonchu s vami, chto vy sdelali brat Gabriel- What you did to our brother Gabriel
Krushnic, razgovory! - Krushnic, talk!
Krushnics ne brosit' kurit', brat. - Krushnics do not quit, brother.
Lisus grebanyy khrista Castiel! - Jesus fucking christ Castiel!
Malen'kiy Angel - Little Angel
Mingia- Prick
Mladshiy Brat - Little Brother
Moi Brat'ya - My Brothers
Moy Brat - My brother
moy ideal'nyy Al'fa - My perfect Alpha
moy istinnyy krasivyy pomoshchnik kapitana - My true beautiful handsome mate.
Moy Starshiy Brat, Moy Zashchitnik - My older brother, my protector
Moy vozlyublennyy - True Mate
Moya sem'ya - My family
Mudak - Asshole
Nebesnyy Lyuks - Heavenly Suite
O, Lucifer, moy dorogoy brat - Oh Lucifer my dear brother
Ocharovatel’nyy - Charmer
Oko Za Oko - Eye for an Eye
On moy priyatel'!, Vy pokazhite yemu uvazheniye, kak ty menya! - He is my mate! You show him the same respect as you do me.
Ona mertva - She’s dead
Otkryt' shirokiy Bol'shoy brat. - Open wide big brother
Otlichno! Vstretimsya v klube, v garazhe. - Excellent! Meet me at the club. In the garage.
Padshiye Angely - Fallen Angels
Paisan - Country Men
Pankis - Punks
Pizda- Cunt
Platinovyy Komnata - Platinum Room
Poshel na khuy, Castiel! Eto vse, chto vy poluchili? - Fuck you, Castiel! Is that all you got?
pozhaluysta - Please
Pozhaluysta izvinite menya - please excuse me
predatel' - betrayer
Prisoski Petukh - Cock Sucker
Proshchay - Goodbye
Sdelay eto Castiel. On ne sobirayetsya govorit', tol'ko zakonchit' eto uzhe. My budem vyyasnit', yesli yest' kakiye-libo drugiye izmenniks. - Do it Castiel. He's not going to talk, just end it already. We will figure out if there are any other traitors.
Sem’ya - Family
Sozhaleyu - Sorry
Sukin Syn - Son of a Bitch
Trus - Coward
Trus - Coward
Vskore brat. Prosto povesit' tam - Soon brother. Just hang in there.
Vstavay - Wake up
Vy - You
Vy chertovski shutish' - Are you fucking kidding me
Vy chuvstvuyete kak nebo, Dean - You feel like heaven, Dean.
Vy povyazana moy mladshiy brat! Ya tebya ub'yu - You claimed my little brother. I’ll kill you!
Vy udivitel'ny - You’re amazing
Vy udivitel'ny, ty Ty vse, chto ya nikogda ne znal, chto ya khotel - You are amazing, you are everything I never knew I wanted
Ya na nebo - Am I in Heaven
Ya sobirayus' yezdit' vash petukh zhestkiy i bystryy, poka vy ne zavyazyvat' menya i nasos menya polno prikhodyat - I'm going to ride your cock hard and fast until you knot me and pump me full of come’
ya tol'ko nachal - I’m just getting started
Yebat’ da tak chertovski khorosho - Fuck yes feels so fucking good
Zakhodi - Come in
Zhena - Wife
Zoloto Komnate - Gold Room


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