Underneath the Oak Tree -- Chapter Ten
Aug. 11th, 2015 07:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)

June 18th, 1965
Somerset, Vermont
Mackenzie looked beautiful.
Her long, blonde hair was piled high upon her head, a few stray curls slipping free to frame her face. She wore simple make-up, accentuating her eyes and high cheekbones. The beautiful, hand-made dress she wore was a pristine white, made of French lace and silk, crafted lovingly by Sherri and Martha who’d made sure the dress was just as stunning as Mackenzie herself.
Jensen smiled, forcing himself to stay focused on his little sister’s smile and the way her eyes glistened in the church’s candlelight and not at the looming presence at his side.
Alan stood stiff beside him, hands clasped at his front, watching his youngest child with half-lidded eyes. Jensen could smell the alcohol wafting off of him, knew if he reached over he would be able to feel the silver flask tucked carefully away in the pocket of his suit jacket.
Even though he should have expected it, Jensen was still shocked the morning he came back from the barn with his grandfather, Gerry and Jared to see his parents getting out of a car with their bags, ready to spend the week before the wedding at the farm and possibly the week after. Alan had clasped Jensen’s shoulder in greeting, pulling his youngest son against his chest, and completely ignored his own father and the Padaleckis. Then he had steered Jensen inside the house and into the living room to pour them a drink.
It was funny – it had been five years since Jensen had seen, or even spoken to, his father, and in a matter of moments, Jensen felt like he was back to being the same beat-down twenty-year-old who had left Austin, not knowing who he was or what the hell he was doing. Within minutes, Alan had him back to that, a knot in his throat as he numbly nodded his head along with whatever it was his father was talking about.
Donna had taken to Gerry and Jared quickly after the introductions, then allowed herself to be shown around the farmhouse and welcomed by Sherri and Martha. When Jenna came bounding down the stairs, hazel eyes sparkling in excitement from hearing the unfamiliar voices, she threw herself into her Dad’s arms and let herself be lifted from the ground.
Martha stepped forward, giving a small smile as she introduced Alan and Donna as Jenna’s grandparents, her daddy’s parents. A moment of confusion passed Jenna’s face as she took in the newcomers, and Jensen’s heart stopped and he tensed when Alan stopped midsentence.
“Hi, Jenna,” Donna said softly, giving the child a tentative smile. Jenna took only a second more before she outstretched her arms and moved from Jensen’s arms into Donna’s. Jensen watched as his mother’s face broke into a huge smile and she hugged her back; Alan watched for a moment before turning back and carrying on the one-sided conversation. When Jensen met Jared’s eyes, he exhaled slowly and Jared gave him a knowing smile before pulling Donna, with Jenna, out of the hallway and into the dining room where they would be ‘more comfortable talking’.
The week had passed by surprisingly well, even after Josh and his family had arrived mid-week, but that didn’t stop Jensen from feeling on edge the entire time. Nor did it stop him from asking Jared, in not so many words, to stay at his own parents’ house in his old room until Jensen’s family left. Jared had simply said he understood, didn’t argue, only shrugged and said he’d figured as much.
Jensen wondered if he was the only one unable to sleep at night.
Somehow, Jensen had managed to keep Jenna busy by giving her the responsibility of egg collecting in the mornings before breakfast and by the time she was finished, Mackenzie would be downstairs finalizing wedding plans with the rest of the women as they all cooked and Jenna allowed herself to get swallowed up into the storm. Jensen didn’t have to worry about her around Alan, and he didn’t have to worry about her accidentally letting it slip out that she called Jared ‘Papa’.
Josh, it seemed, had no desire to associate with either Alan or Jensen, preferring to spend his time out in the fields with their grandfather or walking with his own son around the farmyard. Being ignored by his brother hurt somewhat, but deep down Jensen had to admit it was also a bit of a relief.
Now as they stood in the church, Jensen still felt ill-at-ease. All week long he had waited for some sort of attack either by Alan or Josh. His usual chores and duties at the farm had been a great buffer since he’d only really seen them at mealtimes. Thankfully there were too many others present then for them to act up. He only hoped that today a sense of propriety would keep them both on a short leash for Mackenzie’s special day.
Alan shifted beside him, clearing his throat and Jensen let his eyes dart over, meeting the cool, verdant ones staring back at him. “Sister is all grown up now,” Alan whispered and Jensen nodded slowly, wondering what exactly it was Alan was getting at. “Two out of three ain’t that bad.”
Jensen forced himself not to react and turned his attention back to the priest who was currently addressing the families and guests, bringing everyone together for this beautiful occasion. Alan fell silent too, seemingly listening, but Jensen knew better than to feel grateful.
“At least you have a kid... Did that part right, even if it was half-assed,” Alan hissed after a moment and Jensen cleared his throat softly, searching the crowd for Jared. He hadn’t seen much of him in the week since his parents had shown up, Alan monopolizing any of Jensen’s free time while drinking and talking over the radio with Albert. The Padaleckis wisely chose to spend most of their leisure time at their own house.
Farm days meant hard work and the nights were usually full of peace and comfort. Jensen ached for a normal night of sitting on the porch with Gerry playing guitar, Sherri and Megan singing along and Albert smoking his old pipe. This past week had been odd, and Jensen took any excuse he could find to go to bed as soon as he had Jenna down for the night, even if that meant spending the following three hours tossing and turning, uncomfortable in the too cold and too big bed.
Now as Jensen waited for more insults to be dished out, Josh shifted uncomfortably and Jensen was glad when Alan’s eyes raked over to his eldest son before settling back on the ceremony and falling silent.

“I want to take a picture with my Papa!” The ceremony was finished, Lee and Mackenzie being trailed by their family down the aisle and out into the beautiful summer sun. The air was warm, humid, but there was a light breeze blowing across the church’s courtyard. Jenna’s words had been completely innocent, and yet it had Jensen’s stomach trying to force its way from his body. Thankfully, Lee was quick on the game and he burst forward.
“Good idea! But I think we should have the whole ‘farm family’ in there, what do you think darling?” He placed his hand on the small of Mackenzie’s back, raising an eyebrow as he met her eyes.
“Oh, yes… yes! I think that would be wonderful. What do you think, Jensen?” She turned, beaming at him, but Jensen could read the fear in her too-wide eyes. He nodded once, not trusting himself to speak, and allowed the photographer to push him and Jenna along with his grandparents and the Padaleckis forward. They crowded together, using the church as their backdrop, and smiled as the flashbulbs flared and the cameras clicked away.
“Okay, let’s take some with the actual bride now,” Jensen cleared his throat and was grateful when the rest of their families, Lee’s included, allowed themselves to be shuffled around for various pictures without any more conversation between them.
Finally, Jensen’s role in the picture taking was over and he was able to slip away from the group and down the driveway. He exhaled slowly, leaning against his Grandfather’s pickup truck, and felt himself relax as soon as he sensed Jared’s presence beside him.
“This will be us one day.” Jared’s voice was soft, and Jensen knew that no one else could hear him, but it didn’t stop him from looking around them in alarm before settling his gaze on Jared’s sad face. So much for feeling relaxed…“It will be.”
“Jay...” Jensen whispered back, shaking his head. “Please… Don’t...”
“Jensen,” Jared sighed softly, brushing their knuckles together, the contact sending a shiver up Jensen’s spine before Jared pulled his hand back and crossed his arms over his chest. He tossed his head, hair falling out of his eyes. “I just know it.”
“It’s never going to happen, Jared,” Jensen whispered back and looked up to meet the hurt expression in Jared’s eyes. “Jared… Baby, please, you know that I would—”
“I have yet to be wrong,” Jared cut him off and gave him a small smile. Jensen felt the corner of his own lips twitch and Jared nodded once before turning around and leaving him standing there alone.
Jensen watched him go. Jared found Mackenzie quickly and swept her into his arms, both of them laughing. The soft summer breeze blew across the courtyard, lifting Jared’s hair from his face. His eyes seemed to reflect the sunlight and from here, Jensen couldn’t tell if they were more blue or more brown today. He looked happy, carefree, and beautiful.
Jensen never wanted anything more than he did in that moment than to be able to call Jared his husband.
A hand clasped his shoulder, causing him to jump, and the sour smell of alcohol hit him before the sound of his father’s voice met his ears. “Ready to go, son?” Alan asked, squeezing his fingers into the muscles of Jensen’s shoulder. “Told your grandfather it would just be us heading back. Setting up the party and all. They’ll go with the Padalecki car.”
Jensen cleared his throat and nodded once, his stomach twisting. He hadn’t heard Alan approaching… He studied his father’s face carefully before allowing himself to be steered toward the truck.
The moment Jensen got behind the wheel and started the truck, Alan had already withdrawn his flask and was sucking it down greedily, the overwhelming stench of the cheap booze washing over Jensen’s senses and elevating his sense of dread. He bit his lower lip hard and the sharp pain was a welcomed distraction as he pulled away from the church and started on their ride home.
Alan flicked on the radio, tapping his fingers against his knee to the song playing. Jensen glanced over, seeing Alan chewing on his own bottom lip in between sips of his flask and it made bile rise to Jensen’s throat.
“So…” Alan broke his silence, twisting the cap onto his flask before making a show of tucking it away. “Seems like you’ve done a nice job with things… farm’s up and running and all...”
Jensen glanced at him, waiting. When Alan looked at him expectantly, a wave of fear settled in Jensen’s stomach. He nodded once, mumbled his thanks, and Alan tipped his head and turned towards the window. The silence was stifling, choking, and Jensen forced himself to take a deep breath. Maybe…
“Too bad, really.” Alan added, finally, and Jensen chuckled nervously.
“What’s too bad?” Jensen sighed, preparing himself for whatever verbal attack his father was going to make. In his mind he’d already framed his father’s probable insults. He didn’t have a wife, only one kid while Alan had two by the time he was Jensen’s age. How he’s ‘only a dairy farmer’ and there are plenty of those in Wisconsin, no one needed them in New England. Maybe the farm wasn’t big enough, Jensen had too much staff with the Padalecki family, he was too young, too inexperienced to handle God only knows what. He raised an eyebrow and turned his head, meeting his father’s steely gaze.
“It’s too bad it’s run by a faggot.”
Jensen gasped aloud at the sudden, direct slur, he knew Alan heard the sharp intake of breath as well. He gripped the steering wheel hard, knuckles turning white and he snapped his head forward, not wanting to see the look of triumph on Alan’s face. They drove the rest of the way in silence, though it was nothing even close to being comfortable.
Every time Alan shifted in the seat, Jensen tensed further, his stomach flipped. By the time he pulled into the gates of the farm, he was sweating, hands shaking. He stopped the truck in its usual spot by the barn and waited—sure that Alan was going to say so much more.
Part of Jensen wanted to ask him how, how he knew? As much as Josh wasn’t… comfortable about the revelation in the past and had made a point of avoiding both Jared and Jensen during his stay at the farm this week, Jensen still couldn’t believe that Josh would’ve told their father. Mackenzie wouldn’t have, he couldn’t see the Padaleckis or his grandparents either which only meant… Perhaps he had overheard Jared near the church…..
The sound of the truck door opening had Jensen flinching but Alan had only let himself out of the truck and was making his way towards the house. Jensen exhaled slowly and turned his gaze towards the road, silently praying that the rest of them got there quickly.
With a sigh, Jensen opened his truck door and climbed out, immediately finding himself back against the truck, Alan’s hands fisted in his shirt pinning him in place.
“Dirty little faggot!” Alan hissed viciously, small droplets of spit splattering onto Jensen’s face. His heart was beating wildly in his chest, his arms pinned between Alan’s crushing body weight and the side of the truck, and he swallowed hard, meeting Alan’s cold hateful glare. “I let you live under my roof, fed you and clothed you. I know for Goddamn sure I taught you better than this.”
“If I remember correctly, Father, the only thing you taught me was how to find the bottom of a bottle,” Jensen dared to whisper back. Then his shoulder blades were banging painfully hard into the frame as Alan viciously jerked him forward and slammed him back again.
“A dirty cocksucker like you has no right to say anything to me. I always knew there was something wrong with you.” Jensen stared at his father’s face, the look of disgust and hatred displayed so perfectly there. “And now you’re trying to bring down my parents? It wasn’t enough shaming me and your family? You have to bring them and the farm they worked so hard for down as well?”
“No!” Jensen protested, shaking his head but Alan’s hand was lightning quick and grabbed Jensen’s face, thumb and forefinger pinching painfully into his jaw. He forced Jensen’s face over towards the direction of the farm before snapping his head back towards him and pressing his forearm against Jensen’s throat.
“It wasn’t enough that you damned yourself with your filthy thoughts and actions? You had to bring that depravity into my parents’ house? You had to turn that innocent boy and warp his mind? Do his parents know what you do to him, Jensen? Do his parents know you’re dragging their son into the depths of hell with you?”
Jensen stayed silent. He could feel his blood pounding through his veins beneath Alan’s arm shoved roughly against his neck. The stench of alcohol was nauseating, the pressure against his chest and throat suffocating, but nothing compared to the distress he felt when he heard the sound of another car pulling up.
Jared was out of the car in an instant, Jensen’s name on his lips as he tore towards them, Gerry and Albert hot on his heels. Something flashed in Alan’s eyes and he pressed harder against Jensen’s throat with his arm.
“Oh, I see,” he whispered against Jensen’s ear and Jensen’s eyes flicked over Alan’s shoulder to meet Jared’s wide, scared eyes. He shook his head gently, watching as Jared skidded to a stop just feet from where Alan and Jensen were. “Is he the reason you’re going to hell? Is he the reason you’re corrupt and useless?” Alan flicked his eyes over to Jared before settling back on Jensen’s. “Do you let him fuck you, Jensen? Do you put out for him like a good girl?”
“Alan!” Donna’s voice was loud and shrill as it cut across the yard, but Alan stayed unmoving.
“I asked you a question, Jenny,” Alan hissed.
“Alan, let go of the boy,” Albert’s strident voice was suddenly beside them but Jensen couldn’t tear his eyes away from his father’s—cold and unyielding, full of hate.
“He’s not a ‘boy’, he’s not even a man,” Alan snarled, moving to slam Jensen back against the truck.
Jared was there instantly, grabbing Alan’s shoulder to pull him back, which was the wrong move. Gasping Jensen tried to suck in air as the pressure on his neck was suddenly released but then found himself unable to breathe as he watched Alan’s elbow connect with Jared’s face.
“Fuck!” Jared grunted, dropping completely out of Jensen’s line of sight. Jensen scrambled forward, reaching for Alan who was immediately moving toward Jared’s falling form, fist raised high in the air.
“Alan!”
“Dad!”
“Jensen! Don’t!”
People around them were yelling, but all Jensen could see was a dazed Jared sitting on the ground, blood pouring through his fingers, and Alan ready to strike him again. He moved quickly, without thinking, and spun Alan around, his fist connecting hard with flesh and bone knocking Alan to the ground.
Jensen knelt over him, but quickly Alan’s fingers grabbed Jensen’s wrists, gripping them tightly.
“I will not have some filthy faggot touching me!” Alan yelled bitterly, breathing hard, his chest rising and falling erratically between Jensen’s knees. His nails were digging deeply into Jensen’s skin, and Jensen knew it must hurt, though he was too enraged and distracted to feel it.
Beside him, Jared was looking at him over his trembling, bloodied fingers and Sherri and Megan knelt behind him, watching with wide eyes. Jensen glanced around in time to see his grandmother retreating into the house with a small figure in her arms and he was glad Jenna was no longer a witness. Mackenzie was openly sobbing beside their mother who was staring back at Jensen, her eyes wide in terror. Josh had shifted, blocking his family’s view of the scene before him. The look on his older brother’s face almost matched the disgust Jensen had seen on Alan’s – only this time, he wasn’t sure if it was only aimed at him.
He looked back down and stared at his father’s face, his left cheekbone and eye already swollen and turning a dark red from when Jensen had hit him. Shame rolled through him—they were causing a scene when this day was supposed to be about Mackenzie. He’d struck his father, had him now pinned to the ground. Swallowing hard to try to tamp his anger down further, the young farmer loosed a weary sigh. Slowly, Jensen slid off of him, yanking his hands free of his father’s grip as he pushed to his feet.
Behind him, Gerry clasped his shoulder, squeezing gently before pushing him back further to where his grandfather stood, glaring disapprovingly at his drunken and angry son. As his grandson moved to stand beside him, Albert laid a gentle, but supportive, hand on the back of the young man’s neck.
“I don’t fucking believe this!” Alan seethed as he struggled up off the ground. Jensen warily watched Alan’s distance from Jared, but stayed still. “You all knew?! You all knew what kind of abomination you had living under your roof? You allowed this to happen?” Alan was fuming, spinning his arms out wide as he looked around the group. “You let two… fudge packers play house? This farm is ruined, you’ve all let it be ruined by not condemning these two… two...”
“You need to calm down!” Gerry’s voice was low and calm sounding, as he stepped forward, arms outstretched. By the look in his eyes, however, Jensen could tell Gerry was anything but calm.
“And you think I’d listen to you? A queer lover?” Alan spat at Gerry’s feet.
“What I am…? Is a far better father than you could ever dream to be,” Gerry replied, still calm and Jensen saw the moment the words really registered in Alan’s alcohol-hazed mind, the moment he saw red.
“Gerry!” Sherri screamed this time, beating Jensen to the punch before he could even open his mouth to call out a warning. But Gerry was too quick for the attack. He dodged Alan’s drunken blow and returned the favor, the crack of a meaty fist hitting flesh seemed to echo in Jensen’s brain. Alan continued to advance until Gerry hit him once again and Alan fell back onto the dirt, lip split and bloodied.
“This may not be ‘my farm’, but this sure as hell is my home and these are my sons that you’re insulting.” Gerry stood over Alan, chest heaving as he stared down at the man, curled up on the ground. “What these boys are..? What they are… is fine young men, who have done nothing but work their asses off to make this farm and the families that live on it successful in every way they could. These boys have found something that you seem to be severely lacking. Now, I don’t claim to understand it, I don’t claim to know how they feel. But I can understand and respect the courage it takes to go through life knowing you can never be your true self.
“Your son, Mr. Ackles, has been raising a beautiful little girl all on his own. He’s managed to successfully take over this property and give his grandparents the respect and consideration they deserve in property decisions. He’s turning a profit, expanding business, and living his life. Any father would be damned proud of this boy right here.
“I know, from a father’s perspective that if this kind of life is what makes my son happy…? He couldn’t have picked a better damn partner if he tried. Now… Mrs. Ackles? I suggest you head inside and collect your and your husband’s things. Unless, of course, you’re planning on supporting your child…?” Gerry never shifted his eyes from Alan’s face, though Alan’s bloodshot, green eyes shot up and pinned on Donna immediately.
Jensen was shaking, anger and adrenaline surging through him.
Slowly, Donna tore her eyes away from her husband and found Jensen.
He swallowed hard as their eyes locked. The look on his mother’s face was one he never thought he would see again. She looked… sad, almost hurt at the situation. For a brief moment, Jensen felt hope fluttering in his chest as he stared at his mother. He let his hand fall to his side and jumped as a large hand brushed against his, immediately twisting their fingers together. He didn’t need to look to know that Jared was now at his side.
Donna’s eyes trailed down to their joined hands, and the look she had immediately disappeared. She nodded in resignation once, and then pushed away from the fencing. As she walked past the small group, she refused to meet Jensen’s eyes as she passed. Jensen heard a soft sob and he jumped when Jared squeezed his hand, making him realize that the sob had come from him.
Alan shifted on the ground, pushing himself to a sitting position. He shook his head, glaring between Jared and Jensen, disgust clear on his face, but he stayed silent. Jensen stared back at him, time seemingly stood still and nothing moved except for Alan’s flickering eyes and Jared’s thumb rubbing small, soothing circles on the back of his lover’s hand.
It seemed like hours they stood there silently frozen, out in the yard with cars pulling up for the promised wedding reception. Luckily, Martha was quick on the draw, and she began directing people to go inside the house, taking their hats and coats, if needed. Mackenzie had quietly slipped away, taking Josh’s wife and son with her. Jensen was surprised when he realized that Josh was still there.
Donna reappeared with their suitcases and took her place by Alan’s side, eyes downcast and staring at the ground. Alan stood up the rest of the way, spitting once in Jensen’s direction before spinning away, ripping at Donna’s arm as he went.
“Josh!” he barked and Josh cleared his throat. Jensen looked up and met his eyes.
“I… I’m… just going to take them to the train...” Jensen nodded, watching as Josh started after their parents. “I… I’ll be back.”
“Come on,” Jared said softly, tugging on Jensen’s hand. He turned then, breath catching in his throat as he finally looked at Jared’s face. His nose was still bleeding, blood trickling down over his lips in thin rivulets, the area around his nose already bruising a deep, purplish color.
The Padaleckis and Albert stood behind them, pushing them forward towards the Padalecki house. Once the door was shut, Megan went to the kitchen, returning with a metal bowl full of ice and a towel. She twisted the towel around some of the ice to make a pack while Sherri washed the blood from Jared’s face. The rest of them watched silently.
“It’s broken…” Sherri said after a moment, fingers gently grazing over Jared’s nose.
“Does it make me look like a bad boy?” Jared asked, giving his mother a huge grin, but for those present the blood painted over his mouth and teeth quickly swallowed up any humor his comment had intended. He cleared his throat and fell silent again, letting his mother work and accepting the ice gratefully from his younger sister.
“Are you okay?” Gerry asked after a moment and Jensen was shocked when all eyes turned instead to him, waiting for his answer.
“Oh… I…” he stumbled, touching his neck briefly before nodding. “Yeah, he didn’t hit me…”
“That’s not what I meant,” Gerry replied softly and Jensen looked over to meet his sad smile. “Are you okay?”
Jensen swallowed hard against the sudden lump in his throat. Officially, he’d lost both of his parents today. Who knew what the rest of the extended family would say once they realized what had been going on just before they’d arrived at the farm. Even if Mackenzie, Martha and Ella were able to deflect the questions and comments here at the party, Jensen knew better than to think Alan wouldn’t be telling everyone they knew.
Josh had said he was coming back, but Jensen knew that their brotherly relationship had already been damaged during the Christmas visit and today certainly wouldn’t be what repaired it—Jensen didn’t think anything ever could. He had a daughter who was inside the main house and probably upset at seeing her papa being hit and her dad punching her grandfather. He had a sister whose very special day he’d managed to ruin. He didn’t know why any of them bothered with him… Alan was right in some ways—Jensen was nothing good.
Gerry stayed looking at him, his eyes holding nothing but concern and it made Jensen’s head hurt. Gerry had called him his son, had stuck up for him as well as his relationship with Jared. When Jared’s family brought him to the house, they’d brought Jensen too. He looked around the room, all of them looking back at him, no anger or blame or fear in their eyes.
Jensen had lost his parents today, maybe even a brother, some aunts and uncles. But what Jensen finally realized was that what he’d gained was so much more.
“Yeah,” he whispered, nodding his head. “I’m going to be just fine.”
Master Post || Chapter Nine || Chapter Eleven