Screaming Color -- Ch. 7 Shake it Off

[lotrspnfangirl]

Title: Screaming Color (7/14)
Rating: Mature
Pairing: Jensen/Jared
Warnings: Past abuse (physical and emotional), referenced rape/non-con
Disclaimer: I do not personally know, nor do I own, Jensen or Jared. This is purely fictional.
Summary (shortened): Jared escapes his hometown, and his past, for a fresh start in the bright and busy city of New York. Jensen has been stationed in the city for the better part of the last four years. When they finally get together, neither one wants to let their fears or scars hold them back. But when the world around you doesn’t actually know you, and the demons of your past threaten to break you, can love really conqueror all?
A/N: Any feedback is welcome! It fuels the fire :)
Other stories/chapters can be found in the Fiction Index

Chapter Seven: Shake it Off
But I keep cruising
Can't stop, won't stop moving
It's like I got this music
In my mind, saying
It's gonna be alright
'Shake it Off' by Taylor Swift, 1989

From: Ackles, J. SSG Usarmy (jensen.r.ackles.mil@mail.mil)
To: Padalecki, Jared (jarpad82@gmail.com)
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Hey (UNCLASSIFIED)
December 1, 2014 at 03:03 AM
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Hey babe,
So, I thought it was fitting to use the first day we met as the start of our relationship. That being said, it's our six month anniversary today. I'm sorry I wasn't able to get to talk to you on the phone today... I'll be heading out for a mission this week, similar to the one I did last month. When I get back though, you owe me a sexy skype date.

How is everything going with work? Last I talked to you, they were thinking of switching to eight hour shifts. Did that end up going anywhere? I know you weren't all that thrilled about the idea. Just keep me updated, I like knowing what's going on with you at home.

Mack emailed me... She got engaged at Thanksgiving. I'm happy for her... Just makes me miss home more, you know? I wish I had been there. At least I'll be there for the wedding though, right? And maybe you would consider being my plus one?

I love you, I miss you.
--J

Jensen R. Ackles
SFC, STA
Senior Tactical Advisor

Classification: UNCLASSIFIED
Caveats: NONE

Jared squinted at the screen, reading the email. He had set up his email to alert him whenever he recieved mail from Jensen, no matter what time it was. The alarm clock beside him seemed to scream that it was only 3 in the morning, and Jared counted quickly the nine and a half hour time difference to know Jensen was probably getting ready for lunch.

From what Jared had gotten out of his boyfriend, most of the unit was split into nights and evenings, 12 hour shifts 7 days a week, and were doing Customs Operations. Most of the guys hated it -- which made Jensen hate it because all he heard every day were complaints. Jared thought they were all crazy... Doing customs, they were mostly on the base day in and day out checking luggage and aircrafts that came into the base. Compared to what they could be doing, boring was safe and Jared was glad they were all bored.

Jensen, however, was tasked the opportunity to carry out missions and select his team to follow him to other bases around the country. FOBS? Or something like that... Jared had a notebook beside his laptop with all of the anagrams and their translations so he could keep up with a conversation and not have to stop his boyfriend every few seconds for clarification.

He re-read the email, his stomach churning as he came to the part about Jensen going out on another mission. Jensen wasn't allowed to talk about much of what he did on them, but had laughed when Jared suggested they were dangerous. As if laughing about it was a comfort.

Jared sighed, clicking off the phone and plunging the room back into darkness. He laid there for a moment, his head spinning. He wished he had been able to talk to Jensen... his boyfriend hated calling him in the middle of the night, even though Jared usually was up at all hours becuase of his work, Jensen always felt like he was bothering him if he ended up waking him. Jared could tell from the tone of the email that he was more than a little upset about missing, and not knowing until after-the-fact, his sister's engagement.

Jensen would be coming home in two months. The thought tore at Jared's heart. He would get Jensen back for exactly 12 days, just long enough to get used to having him at his side before he was ripped away again to finish his tour. Jensen had suggested he spend his leave in Germany so that he wouldn't upset Jared's life. It had been their first fight.

"I could probably just head to Germany... There are three guys who have the same leave as me and two are going to Vegas, the other is going to Berlin. It's only twelve days, but I don't want to get there and then have to turn around and say goodbye to you again, you know?" Jared froze as he tried to comprehend what Jensen was suggesting.

"You want to go to Germany?" He asked after a moment.

"Well, what I want is to just be done with this deployment and be back at home." Jensen laughed. "I just know from my last leave, my mother spent the entire time telling me I was too skinny and my brother wanted to know every single detail of everything I did... and it was hard for them to say goodbye. I don't want to--"

"Jensen, I don't care if I only get to spend four fucking hours with you! It's worth it!" Jared found himself screaming into the phone, cutting him off. He was tired, he was stressed, he missed Jensen more than he thought was possible.

"Jay... Stop screaming. I'm just thinking about you. You don't need to get upset." He could hear Jensen pleading with him on the other end of the phone.

"Don't get upset? Don't get upset, Jen? You're suggesting not coming home. You're suggesting spending the only vacation time you're getting in fucking Germany... Do you not want to see me?" Jared fell back into the couch, his anger ebbing away to be replaced with fear.

"No, of course not." Jensen whispered. "I miss you, so fucking much. And I would give anything to be with you right now."

"Then this conversation is over." Jared replied, blinking away the tears that had formed. "Let me know what days so I can make sure I take it off from work."

Jared pulled the covers up higher under his chin, rolling over to his side to wrap his arms around a large body pillow Jensen had shipped to him the first few weeks of the deployment. Jared had slipped one of Jensen's t-shirts he had left over the pillow, the faint scent of his colonge filling Jared's senses as he pushed his face into the pillow, inhaling deeply.

"59 days." He whispered into the darkness before letting himself fall back to sleep.

Jared felt he had just fallen asleep when a knock on his door had him groaning and dragging himself out of the bed. According to his alarm, he had gotten another five hours of sleep. He padded into the living room, grabbing a t-shirt from the back of the couch and pulling it on before he answered the door.

"Hello?" He yawned as he pulled it open.

"Jared Pa-Padal-" The guy standing before him was struggling as he read the name off the clipboard.

"Padalecki. Yes, that's me." Jared sighed, leaning against the doorframe. "Can I help you?"

"Delivery." The guy said, relieved he was saved from butchering Jared's name further. "I just need you to sign." Jared took the clipboard, signing his name and accepting the package with curiosity. He hadn't ordered anything...

He shut the door and carried the large box to the table, collecting a knife from the drawer to open the package. When he pulled the cover back he gasped, smiling as he pulled out a large bouquet of deep, red roses. The bottom of the box held a large glass vase and he busied himself getting the flowers set up and watered before he ran to the laptop to email Jensen back.

From: Padalecki, Jared (jarpad82@gmail.com)
To:Ackles, J. SSG Usarmy (jensen.r.ackles.mil@mail.mil)
---------------------------------------
Re: Hey (UNCLASSIFIED)
December 1, 2014 at 08:36 AM
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Hey,
Happy Six Months too :) I got the flowers you sent me... it was a very nice wake up call. A bit cheesy for you though, I half expected someone to come out and serenade me as well! No, seriously, I love them. I wish I could send you something as well... I guess you'll just have to wait until that skype date then, huh?

Work is... work. They're still debating on setting up rotating shifts for 8 hours and 12 hours... I'm not sure. Most of us in the ER have expressed our feelings on being switched from 12 to 8 so we will see what they do with that. Other than that? Nothing is new at all.

I went up to your place the other day to make sure your plants weren't dying. They all seem much happier with me taking care of them. Did you like to feed them cyanide or something? Maybe I just have the magic touch.

I hope we can talk soon. I miss your voice... Be safe, Jen.
Love, Jared

Jared Padalecki
BBFE!
(Best boyfriend ever)
My title is so much better than yours.

He smiled as he sent the email, jumping slightly at the knock on the door. He smiled as he crossed the room to open the door again. He opened the door to an empty hallway, confused as he stuck his head out to look down each end. He looked down on the placemat to see a simple white card with 'Jared' written on the front. Smiling again, he picked it up and had barely shut the door behind him before he had it ripped open and slipped the card out.

It was a simple white card, with a cursive J on the front. He thumbed the card open and immediately froze. Enjoy your flowers?

The card slipped from his fingers and he slammed into the door, sliding the lock, deadbolt and chain into place. Hands shaking, he dug into his pocket for his phone and half ran into his bedroom, locking that door as well.

"This is Jensen, leave a message." Jensen's voice washed over him and his gut tightened when he realized his boyfriend wouldn't get this message until he was back in the states.

"Jensen... I need you." He whispered, squeezing his eyes shut as he slunk down against the door, pulling his knees into his chest. "I don't know how to do this without you. I'm so scared... I wish you were here." He sat in silence, pretending Jensen was on the other end until the voicemail cut off and the woman's voice directed him to press 1 to continue the message or hang up.

He clicked the call off and scrolled through his contacts, passing over Angela until he found the next best thing to Jensen.

"Jeff..." He breathed out, voice shaking as his brother answered the phone. "He's here."

"Yo, Ackles." Tom jogged across the yard, slapping Jensen's back as he caught up to him. "Dude, we cleared the 342 detatchment... and you'll never guess what we had to confiscate from the Lieutenant. I thought she was going to murder us all..."

"That bad?" Jensen smirked, looking over his shoulder at Tom's face. His friend looked like a kid at a candy store, his smile almost splitting his face.

"She had her very own silver bullet." Tom wagged his eyebrows.

"Seriously? How embarassed was she when you found it?" Jensen knew that every branch of the military went by the same rules in the respect of approriate personal items they were allowed to have. By no means were they allowed to have objects of a sexual nature -- porn magazines, sex toys, even lubricant were illegal. Most of the time his team was busy confiscating knives and other weapons that were illegal to ship to the states, but when they hit an item of a more personal nature, it was like they hit the lottery.

"On a scale of one to ten? About a million. I have never seen someone get so red. She was pretty hot though..." Tom shrugged, thinking for a moment. "I should have suggested to help her out with that little problem."

"Oh yeah. Sexual harrassment would go over real well." Jensen rolled his eyes and shoved his shoulder.

"That's what she was screaming at Smith. I thought he was going to shit himself." Tom chuckled and held open the door as they got to their barracks. "Madden or COD?" He asked as the room they shared. The barracks were made up out of hollowed out storage containers, stacked ontop of one another and sectioned off into rooms. He and Tom were lucky and only had the two of them to their room, whereas the other guys had four to a room.

"I'm up for shooting something." Jensen said as he kicked off his shoes and sank down onto the lower bunk of his bed. "You get the others to join in?"

Tom nodded and slammed his fist onto the wall, a second knock coming back in response. "They know." The first week they had gotten there, two of the new Specialists had rigged up the barracks with what looked like a hundred different HDMI cords and connections. They had bought the flatscreen TVs and xboxs from the unit that they were replacing and soon, their entire barracks could spend their evenings or mornings off playing online together.

Jensen looked over at his laptop, trying to push back the ache he felt to try and skype Jared. Because of his promotion and rank, some of the other guys were wary about hanging out with him. Tom being on the same schedule as him gave him someone to talk to, go to the gym with and hang out with... but it also cut into the available time he had to actually talk with Jared. He sighed, turning back to the TV and grabbing one of the xbox controllers.

Only two more months, and he would have Jared in his arms again. He smiled to himself, slipping out of his ACU jacket and leaning against the cool wall. He watched as Tom took a towel from the ground to wipte down the TV and xbox from the sand that had collected while they were at work.

Jensen was sure he would be shitting sand for weeks after he got home. He laughed as Tom swore, shaking the sand from the towel and threw Jensen a look.

"I hate sand." He said simply, throwing himself onto his own bunk and reaching into a box he'd gotten from his mother to toss Jensen a redbull.

"I'm getting used to it." Jensen shrugged, accepting the drink and popping the top to take a long swig. "Ready for me to kick your ass?"

"Stop talking about my ass, Ackles." Tom threw back, making Jensen chuckle before focusing his attention on the game. They played through the evening, pausing for Tom to toss him a bag of Doritos for dinner, until they were the last two people still awake.

Tom finally caved, tossing the controller onto the top of his footlocker he had made into his nightstand and stood to stretch, his shoulders popping as he did so.

"I'm done." He said, kicking off his pants and hanging them over the top bunk. He reached up to grab a sheet that was bunched and let it fall to cover the bottom bunk -- the simple form of privacy they had. "Night." He nodded to Jensen before crawling back into the bed.

"Night." Jensen replied, reaching up to pull down his own sheet and pulling his laptop into the small space with him. He pushed the pillow back against the wall, stretching his legs out before him to balance the laptop on his lap. He waited for his email to boot up and smiled when he came across the email from Jared.

As much as he hated only communicating through email most of the time, it never failed to make him smile when Jared's name came through all the other bullshit the army liked to send him. He pulled out his cellphone, kept charged and on so he could quickly see the time it was back home, and wondered if he would be able to get Jared on skype. He peeked out of his curtain and listened hard for Tom's heavy breathing to let him know his friend was asleep.

He smiled when he heard the soft snore and clicked open the email. He smiled as he started to read and them immediately froze as he got to the second line. He had played with the idea of sending Jared flowers but chickened out when he thought his boyfriend would make fun of him for the gesture. He immediately shot out of bed, tripping over the sheet as he did so.

"Dude, what the fuck?" Tom groaned, voice already thick with sleep, and sticking his head out. "Jensen? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm fine. Be right back." Jensen bit out, trying not to trip as he yanked his PT shorts on and slipped into his sneakers, stepping on the back of them instead of getting them on the rest of the way.

Behind him he could hear Tom swear and call his name. He ignored him and ran out of the building. A few guys from the unit on their breaks from their night shift waved hello to him, tossing him confused looks. He was sure he looked like a bat out of hell... He knew his breathing was erratic, he could hear his heart pounding in his ears.

He ripped the door open to the office building, slipping into an empty room he know held a phone. Hands shaking, he reached into his pocket, glad his wallet was still in his PTs and pulled out the phone card his mother had sent him. His hands were shaking as he scratched off the metal paint to reveal the code he needed and quickly dialed the number.

"Pick up... pick up... pick up..." He whispered, clenching his fists around the phone as he waited for Jared to answer. He didn't know how, or why, but he had an idea of who had sent Jared those flowers. Jensen's stomach churned as he thought about what else Chad could accomplish. The other man obviously had a blatant ignorance for the law he was supposed to uphold, and if he felt he was above the law?

"Jared Padalecki! I can't come to the phone right now but--"

"Fuck." Jensen slammed the phone down, ending the call before picking it up and dialing again. It took three more times before Jared answered the phone.

"Jen? What's wrong?" Jared's voice flooded through his body and Jensen exhaled, sharply.

"Jared. Why weren't you answering? Are you okay? Where are you?" He fired questions at him, hands still shaking.

"Um... I'm at work, babe. What's wrong?" Jared said slowly.

"I didn't send you flowers." Jensen whispered, fear still coursing through his body. "I thought about it... but I didn't. They weren't from me, Jay."

"I know." Jared replied simply, making Jensen sit up from his hunched over postition on the desk. "I figured it out almost right after I sent that email... It was just a misunderstanding."

"Did... Who sent them?" Jensen asked carefully, confused at why his boyfriend sounded so calm.

"Oh... just a patient's family member. I guess everyone got them." Jensen could see Jared shrugging, but something still felt off... "It happens sometimes. I got flowers once in Texas as well."

"Oh. Just a strange coincidence?"

"Yeah." Jared said quickly. "It's all good. I appreciated your email this morning though. And I'm glad you called, I've missed your voice. When are you leaving for your mission?"

"Tomorrow, most likely." Jensen said, sighing as he settled back into the chair. "Sorry for over-reacting. I guess I just assumed the worst."

"Its okay, Jen. I've got to go back though... I miss you."

"I miss you too. Love you, Jared."

"I love you too, Jensen." Jared whispered and Jensen stared at the reciever in his hand as the other line clicked off.

Jared's hands shook as he ended the call, immediately guilty. He had just flat out lied to Jensen. He exhaled, leaning back into the flat pillows of the on-call room and pulled the thin sheet back up over his shoulders. The moment he saw the international number flash across his screen, he knew why Jensen was calling him. He fumbled with the phone, dropping it in the crack between the wall and had to fight to get it out, knowing he was probably giving his boyfriend a heartattack.

He had lied to Jensen.

Jared pressed the heel of his hand against his forehead, ignoring the pain that shot through his head. After he hung up the phone with his brohter, he was slammed with a migrane that no amount of over the counter pain killers would touch.

"J-man... I just saw Chad today... He's not in New York." Jeff's words still rang through his mind and still brought a chill. He had finally talked Jeff out of flying to New York, convincing him he was just over-reacting and that he would be fine. And then he immediately packed up a bag and gone straight to the hospital.

Maybe he was being ridiculous... But something deep inside of his gut told him he wasn't. While Chad may not physically be here? Jared knew his ex-boyfriend's writing almost as well as his own.

He didn't know what Chad's game was. He wasn't supposed to contact Jared in any way, shape or form. And if he was still in Texas? Jared shuddered. He apparently had friends everywhere. Jared laid his cell phone against his chest and closed his eyes again.

Calling Angela was out of the question... Chad had made it clear with this message and the officer down at the courthouse in Texas that he wasn't fazed. Jared was more than confident a 'gut feeling' wasn't going to hold up in court. Before he had fled the apartment complex, he had drilled Marcus at the door for who had been asking about his apartment.

Marcus was immediately concerned and Jared had to argue with him as well that nothing neeed to be done, and no he didn't need to stop anyone from coming to visit. It wouldn't matter anyways.

He sighed, knowing that staying in the on-call room until Jensen came home wasn't a very good solution to his problem. Chad had sent him flowers and a card... it wasn't like he had threatened him. Not exactly anyways... He forced himself to relax and rolled onto his side, wishing he had somehow managed to bring his body pillow with him.

His manager already thought he was crazy for showing up at the hospital on his day off with the lame excuse of not wanting to be late for his shift tomorrow. If he had been lugging a pillow that was nearly as long as he was tall? She might have gotten him committed.

58 days... the only thing that was keeping him going. He forced himself to think of Jensen, about what he was going to do to his boyfriend when he finally got him home, and tried to ignore the swirling guilt and fear in his stomach.

***

"Hey Marcus." Jared forced a smile as he walked into the apartment building, three days later. His manager had cornered him the night before, asking too many questions about why he was sleeping in the on-call room when he lived across the city.

"Everything okay?" Marcus reached out to stop him by grabbing his arm gently.

"Yeah, everything's fine. Heavy case load at work." Jared shrugged and hoped his smile at least appeared to be genuine.

"Okay. How's our friend doing?" Marcus raised an eyebrow and Jared couldn't help but smile. Jensen and Jared had argued about just how observant the older man was a few weeks before Jensen had left. Jared was convinced Marcus had eyes and ears everywhere in the building.

"He's doing well." Jared nodded. "He'll hopefully be coming home for leave in a couple months."

"You tell him I said to stay safe?" Marcus released his hold on Jared's arm and clapped him on the back. "Let me know if you need anything."

"I will, thanks Marcus." Jared slipped past him and made his way to the elevator, trying to ignore the nerves that were suddenly back in full swing. He let himself into his apartment and immediately felt like he was being watched. He let his overnight bag drop to the floor and cautiously stepped into the apartment. Everything was as he left it, but he still felt out of place.

He walked into the kitchen and froze as he saw the roses still sitting on the counter, staring at him. He picked the bunch up, tossing it and the vase into the trashcan and slamming the lid back down. As much as he thought that would make him feel better? He felt empty and completely alone.

He couldn't stay here. Chad may be physically in Texas, but he was here. The scent of the roses lingered in the kitchen space and made Jared's stomach twist. He was going to be sick... He stumbled into the bathroom, falling to his knees seconds before he emptied his stomach. He couldn't stay here where Chad had managed to ebb his way into Jared's life, into the saftey of his apartment half a country away.

When he was convinced his stomach wouldn't betray him again, Jared pushed up from the floor and grabbed a duffel bag from the closet. He let himself into the bedroom and froze in the doorway.

Laying on his pillow was a single red rose and the body pillow was on the floor, Jensen's t-shirt in shreds beside it. Jared slammed his back against the wall, eyes darting around the room. This wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening. His heart hammered in his chest, and he felt light headed, a cool sweat breaking out across his chest and back.

Kicking himself into gear, he ran over to his dresser, tossing in handfulls of clothing, not caring to look at what he was grabbing. He slammed the bedroom door shut behind him and crossed to the living room to grab his laptop and charger. He picked up the small bag he had left by the door and grabbed the set of keys Jensen had given him hanging by the door.

He let himself back into the hallway, trying to calm his breathing when the woman from across the hall gave him a strange look and moved to touch him, to ask if he was okay.

No! He wanted to scream. He wasn't okay. Chad would never let him be okay. He shook his head at her and slipped past her outstretched arm to let himself onto the elevator. He hit the six button and half ran to Jensen's door. He looked up and down the hallway to make sure no one had seen him and quickly let himself into his boyfriend's apartment, locking and deadbolting the door behind him.

He needed to talk to Jensen. He needed Jensen here. He slid down the door, pulling his knees up into his chest as he finally let all of his emotions out as he sobbed into his arms. The apartment was dark, but inviting. Calming himself down, he pulled himself up and brought his bags into Jensen's bedroom, relaxing as the faint scent of Jensen washed over him. He slipped into the master bathroom and found the small bottle of cologne Jensen used. He squirted it a few times into the bedroom before pulling his laptop up from the floor and starting it up.

From: Padalecki, Jared (jarpad82@gmail.com)
To:Ackles, J. SSG Usarmy (jensen.r.ackles.mil@mail.mil)
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Re: Hey (UNCLASSIFIED)
December 4, 2014 at 6:40 PM
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Hey,
So I haven't talked to you in a few days, so you're probably out on your mission now... I was just missing you I guess, and this was the closest thing I had to talking to you short of calling a million times and listening to your voicemail again. Which I may or may not have done more times than I care to admit.

I hope that everything is going good over there... I sent you a package but I made sure to address it to you and Tom. I sent the new COD game for you and your extra battery for your controller. I was going to send some of those cookies from the bakery but decided they would probably melt on the way and I should just eat them for you.

Just so you know... I kind of brought some of my things up to your apartment and am going to stay here. It makes me feel closer to you. I hope you don't mind? I was here most of the time anyways... But I figured I should probably let you know. If you have a problem with it it's totally cool and I'll go back downstairs.

I am however typing this while I'm sitting in your bed. So use that image to its full extent.

I miss you Jensen... These four months have crawled by... I just want you to be home. I think when you come back, if you're up for it, we should get away for a bit. Maybe go on a cruise or something? Hell, even camping (for real this time). As long as I'm with you.

I love you.
Jared

Jared sent the email and put the laptop on the opposite side of the bed, letting himself crawl underneath the covers on Jensen's side of the bed. He pulled Jensen's pillow closer to his face, letting the tears fall again. He ached, even in the deepest parts of his body. Now that the email was sent, he suddenly felt more alone knowing that Jensen probably wouldn't even read his words for another week at least.

He should have told Jensen... but how do you explain over an email that you lied? He wondered if he should call Jeff or Angela to let them know what else had happened. Someone had let themselves into his apartment... His laugh was sharp and bitter as it rang through the quiet room. Chad had never gotten him flowers before, had always said they were a cop-out. He closed his eyes, breathing in Jensen's cologne and trying to ignore the lingering scent of roses he swore he could still smell.

He felt dirty. He felt exposed. Jensen had more than enough to worry about being overseas, he didn't need to worry about Jared too. Jared threw back the covers and stripped his clothes off as he moved back into the bathroom, turning on the water as hot as it could go and stepping under the spray. His scar throbbed painfully, reminding him, goading him. He scrubbed his skin raw, tears washing away with the heavy spray of the shower.

He lathered up the washcloth twice, rinsing his body and still not feeling clean enough to be in Jensen's bed. His skin throbbed, small pinpricks of blood rising to the surface around the area of his scar where he had scrubbed until he felt he was going to be sick again. He shut the water off, his skin chilled as he leaned against the side of the shower.

What the hell did Jensen even see in him? He was damaged, he had the scars both physical and emotional to prove it. He dug his palms into his eyes, angrily wiping away the tears that were still leaking out. He knew he was being pathetic, he had never needed anyone before. He dried off quickly, stopping at Jensen's closet to pull out a worn pair of sweatpants and pulling them on. He crawled back into Jensen's bed, burying himself deep into the covers and exhaling slowly.

For the first time in three days, he felt safe, lost in the comfort of Jensen's home. He may not deserve it, Jensen's love or patience, but he sure as hell was grateful for it.

The only thing missing now, was Jensen himself.

Chapter Eight

Comments

[ayane42.livejournal.com]

this is so scary!!! eeeek!! sitting on the edge of my seat!!

great story!! i am loving it!!!

[lotrspnfangirl.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! I am glad you're enjoying it!!

[shenova.livejournal.com]

Poor Jared he must be scared just waiting for Chad to appear as I am sure he will soon enough. Jensen wont be happy with him but what could he do Jensen is far away and he will only worry. Good idea to stay at his place. You are spoiling us with 2 updates.

[lotrspnfangirl.livejournal.com]

Haha I have been a writing maniac this week!! I am hoping the next chapter will be out sooner rather than later :)

[boy-loves-boy.livejournal.com]

Wow! Seriously intense. I hope nothing happens to Jared. I'm so worried for him. Hurry home Jensen.

Really loving this. ♥

[lotrspnfangirl.livejournal.com]

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you're enjoying it!!!

[oldbatj.livejournal.com]

A Sunday with little to do ....soooo I'm rereading your entire wonderful story.

Even at a second reading the very thought that Chad was able to find someone who could gain access to Jared's apartment gives me the chills and a knot of terror in my stomach! Jared needs to have security cameras installed, that will feed and record on his laptop......or better yet with a security company that can catch the asshole! Poor lonely, all alone Jared...

[elwarre.livejournal.com]

Poor Jared. :( I wish he would go to someone for help, but I understand how his feelings of shame and worthlessness would prevent that. I hope Jensen's understanding about the lie.