Craziness Continues!

[lotrspnfangirl]

Oh man, so things finally start to settle (husband wise) and school has come right in with a bang.

I've started my psych rotation which has been... fascinating so far. I have decided already that I want to be a psych nurse. I have always been interested in psychology and even though I've only had two clinical days so far? I am so in my element it's not even funny. The other seven people I am with have been horrified so far while we're there. I've been having a blast (and find my heart breaking for the patients that are there) and of course, realizing that I have to continue working on emmatheslayers fic Saving Grace because I miss it oh so much. And have realized many different mistakes and liberties I've taken as far as fiction goes, but hey.

Otherwise... My husband has decided that he's agreed to wait until May to file... and although he's 100% done and wants OUT... now he's okay with waiting? He's gotten me on a fucking rollar coaster of emotions. He pissed me off, so I may have kind of told him about the sexting thing from a few weeks ago... but I may have let him believe that something else happened. Well, he was bullshit, and then changed his mind about us being able to 'date' other people. He said that starting a sexual relationship right now isn't right for us or the other people since we're not ready. Um... Okay, I agree but... aren't YOU the one that doesn't want ME? He's all over the place.

We're trying to be 'friends'. I am going to go along with that until things are final. One? I don't want this to be awful, if we're getting divorced then we need to be amicable. Two? I still am holding out hope that he will wake the fuck up and decide to work on his marriage before it gets to that point. If it does? There's no way and no reason for us to be friends what so ever. We don't have kids, there's no reason for us to have any sort of relationship. So... we will see I guess.

I've been catching up on beta work -- thankfully, I was so behind-- and then I am trying to work on Oaks. It's been waaaay too long.

What's everyone's thoughts on last weeks Supernatural and Misha as Lucifer?!

Comments

[emmatheslayer.livejournal.com]

you made me squee saving grace ( I love that fic ) I am sorry to hear about all the stuff dealing with your husband and all I am here if you ever wanna talk hun hugs and love glad you feeling better . I liked casifer I was shocked pure awe and I was happy to see colin again all in all season 11 kicks ass for me I love it

[lotrspnfangirl.livejournal.com]

I promise you I will get it done for you. I've been thinking a lot about it lately. Seriously, totally failed with doing it quickly but I hope it's worth it :)

[emmatheslayer.livejournal.com]

no worries hun I know things get hectic I am in no rush I love it so much I will be here with you though it all hugs thank you so much for doing that

[afrozenflowerr.livejournal.com]

I am glad that things are starting to settle for you! :) I have always been interested in Psychology as well.

[lotrspnfangirl.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Me too. I think it's absolutely fascinating. When I was diagnosed with anxiety three years ago and met with a nurse for medication, I decided then that that was the kind of nurse I wanted to be. But I love being in the critical care units where I am at. Even though some stuff is so heart breaking.

[aravishermione]

*hugs* Hooray that psych is going well! And it does seem like hubby is having second thoughts...and doesn't want you seeing anyone else so he must still feel something, right?

I am not a fan of Lucifer in Cas' body because...Cas :( My poor Cas :(

[lotrspnfangirl.livejournal.com]

*hugs*! Yes!! I have no idea where to even stand with him... I mean, I want him to change his mind and come home... but I'm just giving him space and focusing on me. I think right now, the only one that will change his mind is himself. So... here's freaking hoping.

YES! But... Misha did fantastic, I think. I'm excited to see what happens and I think that the boys are going to figure out pretty damn quickly that it's not Cas Cas... and I am glad because that hopefully means we will have more of a focus on Castiel now!

[lanalucy]

I'm way behind on stuff myself, so I got nothing but {{{hugs}}}.

[lotrspnfangirl.livejournal.com]

*hugs*!!!

[2blueshoes.livejournal.com]

l loved the episode! Seeing Sam so convinced Dean would come for him was salve to my soul. As for Lucifer!Cas I think it could be crazy (in a good way) Although he needs to tone it down some,its a bit of a caricature.

So hubby is not keen on seeing you date? Not sure, maybe he is looking out for you. I know it sounds weird but I had an ex who did that. He was adamant he didn't want to marry me and the forever bit, but he still felt protective and a bit responsible for my well-being! I admit I went a bit slutty, trying to get a new lover and prove (to myself) that I was alright .
We did stay friends ,sort of , but I could never really let go. In the end it was better to avoid each other.

[lotrspnfangirl.livejournal.com]

I loved it too!!! I thought that at first too, but I went back and looked at some clips from Mark and Misha actually gets his facial expressions really well. I think it's just strange seeing it happen on Misha's face LOL I think it's going to be interesting watching the boys trying to get Cas back!

Yeah, hubby needs a freaking smack in the head LOL I don't know what he wants, honestly. He keeps going back and forth on things and it just confuses me more. At this point, I'm just focusing on me and going on day at a time. If he files? He files. If he doesnt? Well, when I get fed up and have the funds to do so? I will do it myself.

[braverys.livejournal.com]

I'm glad to hear that your psych rotation has been going well so far. Though I am sorry about your husband and all the confusion. I can only begin to imagine how that must be for you to deal with.

[lotrspnfangirl.livejournal.com]

I wish it was the summer so that I wouldn't have to focus on school and the crap with him. I suppose it will just make me stronger in the end. Or... something like that lol

[riath.livejournal.com]

Your husband is jealous. He feels like you're dictating terms of what happens while you're separated and he can't have that! It sounds a lot like he wanted to be able to play around while still keeping you in the wife role. All this mind changing and emotional flailing is attempts wrest back control.

I'm glad your psych placement is going well, patients need people like you to be there for them, someone who wants to be there and help them.

I feel like the odd one out in that I hated the last episode (Camptown Ladies was a scream though, I needed that in my life) and really really don't like Casifer.

[lotrspnfangirl.livejournal.com]

That's what my roommate said. She thinks, if anything, this is going to give him a real reality check of what being divorced really is going to mean. Right now, I'm still doing all the bills, we still have the same account, he's just not living here (and therefore, has no responsibility but gets to still have his things). Now, he's seeing the reality of what it will mean... and that means me being with other people and vice versa. So, we will see.

I am interested to see where they go with Casifer... I think the boys are going to figure it out pretty quickly, I mean, they have to. Unless it's going to be another thing like when Crowley and Castiel worked together and Sam and Gadreel kept switching places so that Cas can be like... Cas Cas, they're going to have to know!

[milly-gal.livejournal.com]

*hugs you* I'm glad things are settling and you're dealing the way you *need* with the stuff with hubby!

[lotrspnfangirl.livejournal.com]

*hugs*! Thanks Milly ♥ And yes, focusing on me completely. He's going to do what he's going to do!

[emmatheslayer.livejournal.com]

love casifer I cant wait for more I need to see how it unfolds

[kalliel]

I'm so glad to hear your rotation's going well! It's such a great feeling to get into something and just know you're in your element, and this is where you want to be. <3